light switches that dont do anything r mysterious and i dont trust them
Ellen Degeneres- Kristin Bell’s Sloth Meltdown
I can’t stop laughing.
whenever you’re feeling sad about your One True Pairing
and beginning to lose all hope of it becoming canon
I want you to remember that these two idiots first laid eyes on each other in 2004
Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars were the ultimate ship tease
he was adorable,…
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
when i meet up with my friends i tell them im already on my way when im actually still choosing what clothes to wear
i don’t ONLY care about myself. i care about like 5 other people. and animals.
Leonardo DiCaprio gets attacked by a penguin during a trip to the Arctic in 2006
i’m probably the best at losing friends
*wakes up from coma* “tell me I dont have a unibrow”
If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend.
Why can’t a fictional character just walk into my life
If my jokes offend you:
- I’m sorry
- It won’t happen again
- 1 & 2 are lies
- You’re a pussy